Don't Date Out Of Your League

“No, you're clear. Wait. Scrunch down a little bit. Okay, you're clear.”

“Should I get up?”

“Slide out of the chair to the floor. That's it, slowly. Now roll. Okay, you're okay. It hasn't moved. Just back away now.”

“Oh my god. What do I do now?”

“Go, get out of here. There's nothing you can do.”

“What about you?”

“Once you're gone I'm going to trying jumping out of my chair. I think it's my only chance. It's pointed right at my belly button. Jesus, what is it waiting for?”

“Maybe I can push it out of the way.”

“No! Don't touch it. We have no idea what it will do.”

“I can't just leave!”

“You have to! Go, warn the others. The AI has gone crazy. Something I did must have triggered it. Let's see—don't drink red wine. Don't wear baggy pants and a sweater. Don't... I don't know, don' t make any jokes about memory wipes that makes it sound like butt wiping. Go! Stay out of the round rooms!”