Saturday, December 17, 2016

Porpoises Are Bullshit Too


“Do you have a plan yet?”

“Maybe. Are the dolphins back?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell whether they're friendly or unfriendly?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, I think I got a plan. We should get started, we've wasted enough time already. First, we get off this island.”

“Are we going to the beach that is three feet away and has been there this whole time?”

“Yes.”

“Do we walk or jump?”

“Whichever you like. I'm going to walk.”

“I'm going to jump. Hup!”

“Well done. Now, the second part—we take out our dicks and waggle them at the dolphins.”

“Why?”

“I want to see how they react. Smile as you do it.”

“Like this?”

“Perfect.”

“Are they reacting?”

“I don't know. Do they seem confused? Amused? Who knows. Why did I even bother. Dolphins are bullshit.”

“What's next?”

“Ah, third part of the plan—we make an appointment to see the boss.”

“Like, a meeting?”

“A one-on-one presentation.”

“About what?”

“About something I've been thinking about these past weeks, which I have totally been doing, even though it looked like I've been struggling to find a reason to continue and was nearly ready to give up.”

“I knew it!”

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