Who Wouldn't?

“Sorry it took so long to get this together.”

“Isn't it spring...?

“Shh. The sharks of truth are here, so...”

“Lake sharks...?”

“Shush! So why don't we begin.”

“Yeah, I've been waiting for this meeting for a long...”

“Nope. Not a meeting. We're not doing that.”

“Why, because the meetings lately have gone way off the rails?”

“Did you notice that too? Stupid aliens. Did you know that advanced meeting technology is an actual thing? Crazy. Anyway, we have to get back to basics. We have to simplify. So this isn't a meeting.”

“What is it then?”

“It's an informal, um...”

“Covert.”

“Covert, yes, an informal covert... happening?”

“Convergence.”

“I don't know...”

“Coven.”

“What?”

“Crucible.”

“Why are you saying these words?”

“Continuum.”

“It doesn't matter! We have important things to discuss.”

“Like the war?”

“Yes! And here's the thing—there is no war! There never was. We have never been at war. It's all a lie. We have to find out what they're distracting us from.”

“Cuntstorm! Ooh, the sharks liked that one.”