Cthulhauto

“That's right, I made this. I'm a necromancer.”

“Hm. Okay.”

“Now I know what you're thinking – doesn't necromancy have to do with the dead? Well, it does and it doesn't. Let's just say, if you want to fuse body parts onto metal, necromancy is the best way to go.”

“All right. I'm just thinking, this doesn't seem very practical.”

“Oh, it's not practical at all. No, this is a terrible car. But that's not the point.”

“What is the point?”

“You see, this isn't a car showroom. We don't even sell cars. This is a showroom for our talents. Ed over there? He captures and utilizes elementals. Linda binds tree spirits. Bob is in touch with the Old Ones. We have a variety of disciplines that you can hire. It all depends on what you want.”

“We... well, we want a car.”

“Do you? Do you really? Those who seek cars do not end up here.”

“Uhh, well, this is going to sound weird, but, uh, we've been having visitations...”

“Now we're talking! Why don't you have a seat over here, I'll start you out on some forms, and I just have to talk to my boss, who resides beyond the earthly plane, so there's a fresh pot of coffee right here, and I'll be back in an unholy amount of time, okay? Great!”