The Dick Jokes May Continue For A While

“How about this?”

“Yeah, man, yeah. That's real sharp.”

“So I can be in your army now?”

“Sure, man. You were always able to join. We're a collective of free beings.”

“And who are we attacking?”

“Systematic exploitation.”

“Who?”

“Everybody who participates in the great modern con.”

“All of them?”

“As many as we can find.”

“And what do we do to them?”

“We poke them.”

“Cool. Make them bleed.”

“Nah, man, just a little prick.”

“Hey!”

These Are All Good Nicknames For Your Partner

“He's going to have sex with it, isn't he?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Metaphysically.”

“Ah.”

“Have you ever seen someone manifest an incorporeal dong?”

“Haven't we all?”

“He suddenly decided to carve out a material receptacle for his numinous member.”

“Seems like a waste of time. Why not just stick it in an unearthly hole?”

“We've been doing that for years.”

Sweet Street

“Do you have a penis?”

“Do I have a... what kind of question is that?”

“It's a perfectly natural question. Do you feel uncomfortable answering it?”

“No. No, I don't have a penis. I'm a car.”

“You say that as if it's impossible for a car to have a penis.”

“Cars do not have penises.”

“Do you want a penis?”

“Why don't you ask me if I want a vagina?”

“Nobody wants a vagina. When you think about penises, what comes to mind?”

“I don't think about them. I only think about roads and streets.”

“And you have sexual fantasies about them.”

“All the time.”

“How does a car have sex with a street?”

“You sort of gently drag your dick along...”

“Aha!”

Ocean Madness

“Does this seem pretty fucked up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Fucked up, as in, not only a bad decision, but physically impossible?”

“Are you blaming me now?”

“Come on, you know that's not what I meant.”

“We're almost home, let's just talk about it then.”

“Talk about what? Living in an insane world?”

“Look—it happened, and we can't go back now.”

“I guess so. But I wonder what we're supposed to do next.”

“Unpack our bags, feed the cat, fix supper. What are you hungry for?”

“What do we got?”

“Duuude.”

“Shut the fuck up, whale.”