I Hope I'm Not On A Watchlist

“I'm not happy with the mouth but what can you do.”

“And these are all the people he killed?”

“What? No. There's more in another cemetery.”

“Are these his special victims?”

“Not really. Nothing significant about these. I killed some of them. This one here is the sculptor.”

“How did he die?”

“Chisel through the mouth.”

“No, your husband.”

“His head got too big. No, just kidding. But it's true, his ego blinded him, he thought he was invulnerable. Just remember, you can be killed by anybody, at any time, for any reason. It has always been thus.”

“Is that why you brought me out here?”

“Dear, I'm offering you a job. You can join us and help end this war. We are the secret third faction, the hidden and the masked, the judges and the peacekeepers.”

“Wow, you sound like terr—”

“Oh, no. No no no. Not in this political climate, that's... We are dedicated towards empathy, respect, and nonviolence. I was only joking about the sculptor, he's alive and well. No, we change hearts and minds. Death is the last and least wanted option.”

“Don't worry, I'm not wearing a wire.”

“But you never know who could be listening.”