Lies!

“Did you hear about the war?”

“What's that? A war?”

“Yes, the war. Didn't you go to the meeting?”

“What meeting?”

“Are you saying that nobody organized a meeting for your econosociospatial collective?

“I'm not even sure what you're talking about.”

“Unbelievable. We've given your planet all of our advanced meeting technology and you've barely started implementing it.”

“Hey, take it easy, buddy. I'm sure it will be fine. Maybe you could have a meeting about it.”

“I definitely will! I will start organizing... wait a minute. Is this an example of the human sense of humor?”

“Yeah, I'm just joking with you. Of course I was at the meeting.”

“Ha! Classic. How was the meeting?”

“It was great!”

“Excellent!”

“I mean, it went on a little too long, and it was kind of boring at times, but..”

“That happens. It's unavoidable, actually. To be honest, meetings are kind of bullshit. Don't tell anyone. They'll figure it on their own.”

Meetings Are Important

“Look closer.”

“What are we supposed to see?”

“Just be quiet for a second and look and think.”

“Are... are we in a cage and he's free?”

“What? No, that's stupid. He is definitely in a cage, but the cage is not what you think.”

“Ahh. The cage is his mind.”

“No.”

“The cage is society.”

“No.”

“The cage is precariously balanced on the branch and with the first strong breeze it will fall and, um, that's a metaphor for... life?”

“Look—the cage was put here deliberately, and that's because it's a message. And that message is... anybody have a guess? The message is war!”

“War?”

“War! We are at war! The next phase is here! Finally!”

“Who are we at war with?”

“Who? Haven't you been listening at the meetings? We have enemies everywhere! Everywhere! Why is one of you bigger than the others?!”

“Uh-oh.”

“A spy! Get him!”

“You'll never win!”

“Wow, look at him go.”

“Why didn't you guys attack?”

“I don't know, he seemed cool.”

“Oh, you thought he was cool? Well, watch what happens when I push the cage over.”

“No, wait... holy crap! It was a bomb?”

“Do you see what we're up against now?”

“We really should pay more attention at the meetings.”

More Meetings! Keep Them Coming!

“Oh man, this is going to be great!”

“I can't believe we're doing this! It's like a dream come true!”

“Awesome meeting so far, guys. So frickin' awesome.”

“Meeting! Wooo!”

“All right, guys, are we ready to kick this up a notch? Heck yes. The next order of business...”

“Actually, sorry, can we go back a second? Roger, did you say this was a dream come true?”

“Well, yeah!”

“Like an actual dream? While you're sleeping?”

“No, more like a daydream. As in, thinking of exciting new ways to run meetings.”

“So, no spiders?”

“Spiders?”

“Sometimes I dream about spiders.”

“Does anybody see any spiders? No? Okay, we're spider-free. Let's relax and get back to the meeting. Now, the next...”

“Sometimes I dream about a lake, and there are these huge fish in them, like these really long dinosaur fish swimming around and I'm fishing for them.”

“Sometimes I dream that I'm carrying a tiny, tiny baby...”

“No. No more dreams. We have to continue this meeting. Let's focus, people. We're down here for a reason, and that reason is... what was that?”

“What?”

“Did you see something moving?”

“No. Wait...”

“There it is!”

“I see it! I see it!”

“Meeting over! Everybody out! Go go go! No more meeting! No more dreams! We are being punished! Capitalism is a lie!”

Hand In Pocket Always Looks Wrong

“Why am I not bothered by this? I can perceive this as a horrific spectacle, and yet I feel nothing.”

“Kick one of them in the head.”

“What?”

“Pick one, give them a big kick in the face.”

“Is this a test?”

“Do you think this is a test?”

“You're fucking with me, which is a test. Haven't I passed them all so far? Do I still have to prove myself? By the way, I'm still touching my ween.”

“That was the test. You have passed.”