Keep Them Coming

“Now remember, we're recreating an important meeting in the history of this company, and the people you're portraying will be in the audience, so we have to get their personalities right. Billy, make sure you act like your head is up your own butt.”

“Whaaat?”

“Not literally. It just means you have no awareness. You're an oblivious asshole. Got it?”

“I guess.”

“Suzy, you only think of yourself. If it's not about you, just ignore it.”

“Right. All about me, got it.”

“Great. Jimmy, you are the dumbest person in the world. The dumbest person ever. Do you think you can do that?”

“Durrrr...”

“Awesome, perfect. And don't be afraid to go off script. Go with the moment, make something up, run around, do whatever feels right.”

“Mr. Carlson, you don't like this company very much, do you?”

“Oh my god, no I don't. It's terrible. I'm wasting my life here. They come up with the stupidest ideas, like putting on performances with child actors about things that don't matter. Who does that? But hey, that doesn't mean we can't put on a great show! Okay, good rehearsal everyone. The show is in an hour, just stay here and relax and have fun, I'm going to go get a drink. See you later.”

“Aren't these corporate gigs sweet? What a freakshow.”