Butt-Rubbing Curtains

“Get down, I'll handle this.”

“Those aren't bullets, are they? I can see them flying through the air. Hey, they're gumdrops! Look!”

“Did you just eat one?”

“No. Who's shooting gumdrops into your window anyway?”

“Get down!”

“But look at the angle – this is the ground floor and they're shooting up? A person would have to be two feet tall to shoot at that angle.”

“Get away from the window!”

“Gnomes! Adorable little gnomes with slingshots. What is going on here?”

“They're... hallucinations?”

“Oh, come on.”

“Fine. They're gnomes. But what do you think is going on here?”

“Well, they seem angry.”

“Why would you say they're angry?”

“Because... wait a minute, are you using this as part of my therapy? Is this all staged?”

“This is real! Just like your relationship with your mother!”

“Give me the gun! Aaaaah!”