Everyone

“Everyone? Really? Hang on, I have to do something. Your Honor? I move to dismiss this case.”

“On what grounds, counselor?”

“Hm? Oh, you mean me? Sorry, I forget there are different names for lawyers. I usually refer to myself as a lawyer, like if I'm meeting somebody, just to simplify. I met some people at lunch today, so 'lawyer' is kind of stuck in my head right now.”

“Just answer the question.”

“Oh, right. On what grounds? On the grounds that, these people behind me? They're staring at my client with their beady eyes, and honestly, they all look like idiots. They look like a bunch of assholes. They don't know what it's like to be a lawyer. They don't know anything about the prototype, or the status quo, or post-capitalism. Why are they even here? Why are you people here?! Don't you have something better to do?!”

“I agree. They look like a bunch of dipshits. Case dismissed.”

“Hey, we won! I think we won. Your Honor, did we win?”

“Yes. Fuck off.”

“Cool, cool. That was easy. I guess we can go. But I don't think you really mean everyone. That can't be right.”