It's Not The Gun

“Is that the prototype?”

“What, the gun?”

“No.”

“The guy?”

“No, the other thing.”

“The bird?”

“No. Wait, did you say gun? I meant the gun. Is that the prototype?”

“Probably not. Sometimes I wonder if the prototype even exists. You'd think they would've used it by now.”

“But you have to test a prototype. Once it's finished and ready to use, it's not a prototype anymore.”

“I hadn't thought of that. What do we call it then?”

“The... thing.”

“The item.”

“The object.”

“The device.”

“Ooh, I like that. The device is operational.”

“Activate the device.”

“Hey, everybody, the device is here.”

“The device looks nice.”

“Is that the device?”

“What, the gun?”

Whatever, Pailgirl

“Hey, Neckmouth, why are you so ugly?”

“Hey, Neckmouth, what's wrong with your face?”

“Hey, Neckmouth, is that your nose?”

“Hey, Neckmouth, do you even have a skull?”

“Hey, Neckmouth, nobody likes you.”

“Yeah, Neckmouth, nobody likes you.”

“You shouldn't even be here, Neckmouth.”

“You shouldn't even exist, Neckmouth.”

“Get out of here, Neckmouth.”

“Go stink up some other place, Neckmouth.”

“You'll never find the prototype, Neckmouth.”

“Aha! You want me to go, which means I'm close! The prototype has to be around here somewhere!”

“Way to go, Shovelboy.”

Everyone

“Everyone? Really? Hang on, I have to do something. Your Honor? I move to dismiss this case.”

“On what grounds, counselor?”

“Hm? Oh, you mean me? Sorry, I forget there are different names for lawyers. I usually refer to myself as a lawyer, like if I'm meeting somebody, just to simplify. I met some people at lunch today, so 'lawyer' is kind of stuck in my head right now.”

“Just answer the question.”

“Oh, right. On what grounds? On the grounds that, these people behind me? They're staring at my client with their beady eyes, and honestly, they all look like idiots. They look like a bunch of assholes. They don't know what it's like to be a lawyer. They don't know anything about the prototype, or the status quo, or post-capitalism. Why are they even here? Why are you people here?! Don't you have something better to do?!”

“I agree. They look like a bunch of dipshits. Case dismissed.”

“Hey, we won! I think we won. Your Honor, did we win?”

“Yes. Fuck off.”

“Cool, cool. That was easy. I guess we can go. But I don't think you really mean everyone. That can't be right.”

Look At That Dude In The Street—What Is He Holding?

“It's like there's never enough time.”

“What? Oh, I guess so.”

“We're so busy I can't even take a breath. Build the prototype, deliver the prototype, steal the prototype, destroy the prototype, build a new prototype... How do they expect us to keep up this pace? The plan is going to ruin us. Something is going to break, I can feel it.”

“It will all be over soon enough.”

“I suppose. Anyway, I enjoyed having sex with your wife last night.”

“It was nice, wasn't it?”

“Maybe we can do it again sometime?”

“We'll see.”