His Arm Was Extended, Pointing

“Sword through desk! There, there's your proof.”

“That doesn't prove... What? A sword comes out of your desk? Why?”

“It's a defensive thing. It defends me.”

“And the verbal command is 'sword through desk'?”

“No, I just like saying that. There's a button on the floor to activate it.”

“Okay. But my point remains—there may not be a war going on after all.”

“Bullshit! It's all everyone talks about anymore. Sword through desk!”

“Sure, talk. But is anyone actually fighting?”

“I saw some vikings fight.”

“Were they though? It could have been a party and they got a little rowdy.”

“The cowboys too. You hear about them fighting all the time.”

“Nobody has even seen any cowboys. I'm not even sure they exist.”

“But the pirates keep saying...”

“Screw the pirates! They always lie. No, there is no evidence that there's a war. We're all being manipulated.”

“By who?”

“Good question. It doesn't matter. I am proposing an ad campaign that dispels the myth of the war.”

“Why would I approve that?”

“It would only benefit the company. People will get back to their normal lives. They'll buy more. Sales will go up. Stocks will go up.”

“Will they?”

“Probably. I think that's how capitalism works. So what do you think?”

“I think... you're a cowboy in disguise! Sword through desk! Ow!”