Monday, July 6, 2015

The Salesmanship Is The Thing


“Helloooo! Can I ask you... oh, you don't have a mouth. Well, this is awkward.”

*Go on, ask.*

“Wow, telepathy! Sorry, I shouldn't have presumed anything. As I was saying, I'd like to ask...”

*Let me stop you right there. I perceive the question. I must decline, and I must ask you a question—how did it come to this? Where did it go wrong?*

“Am I at the right table?”

*Probably not. That's okay. If you'll excuse me, I was just leaving. I have some alcohol molecules to assimilate. Enjoy the mummery of late-stage capitalism!*

“Yes, thank you! She seems nice. Am I even at the right party? Did I overshoot the timeline again? This is getting so confusing. Still, I bet one of these ladies will be interested in my... oh, you're back!”

*Do you have a free sample?*

“Yes!”

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