Inopportune

“Don't let go!”

“I'm not!”

“It's slipping!”

“No it isn't!”

“I can see it slipping!”

“It's not slipping!”

“You should have tied it around your wrist!”

“I don't need to tie anything!”

“Your hand is getting sweaty!”

“Stop it!”

“A horse is coming!”

“It's fine!”

“Guns are dangerous!”

“I know!”

“Are you okay?!”

“I'm okay!”

“Are you?!”

“Yes!”

“So many things can go wrong!”

“All is predetermined!”

“What?!”

“I fucked your wife!”

“What?! Look out!”

Hello, Baseball Fans!

“I see it! I understand! Oh, hey, baseball dudes. I hope I'm not interrupting.”

“What happened to the ump?”

“Good question. He's probably fine. Wow, quite a crowd here tonight, eh? I didn't think anybody went to baseball games anymore. Isn't it a dying sport that nobody cares about?”

“Aw, man, you come in here and say these things?”

“Sorry, you're right, sorry. I'm not here to slam your ridiculous game. I'm here to make an announcement.”

“Well, you better hurry up, I see security coming.”

“Ooh, so they are. Actually, the announcement is for my own timeline. I have nothing for you guys. I just traveled here to see something for myself. And I was right! Anyway, I'll be going now. Good luck! Magic cloud, take me away!”

“Huh. You know, he's right—baseball is pretty lame.”

Or Some Sort Of Vegetables

“First of all, the water is going to spread over to my side anyway, and second, you don't have knives for fingers.”

“How do you know I don't have knives for fingers too?”

“Do you?”

“No.”

“So I have it worse.”

“I didn't mean it like it was a competition or something. This is bad all around. This is a bad nightmare.”

“Agreed.”

“So poorly executed.”

“Hacky.”

“And getting rained on all night is the worst.”

“Knives for fingers!”

“Our marriage is a sham! Ow!”