Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Zombies Are Total Bullshit


“So if corpses start rising and walking around, why would they necessarily be aggressive? Why assume they become killers?”

“I don't know, so they can spread the zombie virus?”

“Is it a virus? A virus that kills a living person and animates a dead person? And couldn't it spread by touch, or a sneeze?”

“I don't know! What do you want from me?”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you. This was supposed to be a nice weekend. Seems like everything went bad after I made these cookies. Stupid fucking cookies. Why did I make them, look at how fat I'm getting. I don't know why you're still with me. You should just let me die. Better for everybody.”

“Puuusssssyyy...”

“Hey! Not cool. I'm adding that to the list of why zombies are bullshit.”

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