Boom, Politics

“Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Mmmm... go ahead... mmmm...”

“Where did you get the idea of eating licorice fed to you from a fishing pole while standing in a lake?”

“Mmmm... not sure... mmmm... just seemed like good idea...”

“And we're doing it right? This is the scenario you wanted? With my ten year old son holding the rod, and with my legs squeezed behind the board like this?”

“Mmmm... yes, perfect...”

“Dad, this is weird...”

“I know. I know. Just think about the near future, when the oligarchy of the criminally wealthy will collapse under the weight of its own corruption and decadence.”

“Mm... what?”

“What? Nothing.”

Demolition Has Its Ups And Downs

“Do you like the The Big Lebowski?”

“Heck yeah, I love The Big Lebowski.”

“Yeah, it's pretty great. Okay, I guess I'll smash the building now.”

“Wait. What if we don't?”

“What?”

“What if we don't destroy this building? What if we... take it over!”

“What, like, buy it?”

“No, we just take it. We'll tell everybody that we destroyed it, but we'll secretly fix it up and open it again. Nobody will know!”

“I don't think that will work at all...”

“Okay, then we can buy it. Come on, we can get out of this crap job, be our own bosses!”

“But the building is condemned, nobody can...”

“How hard can it be to fix it up? It'll be great, we can redecorate it – we can give it a Big Lebowski theme! Or do you think that's too cliché? It probably is, yeah. Stupid idea. Actually, I don't know what I'm talking about, I don't know the first thing about any of this. Stupid. Just smash it. Who cares.”

“All right. Do you want to do it? It always cheers you up.”

“No. Well, maybe. I guess so. Why not. Stupid bowling alley. Here we go. Swing the ball, and... oh man, I didn't even think about knocking down the pins first. This will be so great!”

Suburban Purgatory

“Oh no, we're definitely going to need to exchange insurance information.”

“Just so we're clear, are we accepting that this is happening? We are who we're supposed to be, we're committed to these characters and this situation?”

“Well, yes. The memo was clear.”

“Was it? The way I understood it, we have some breathing room, we're not locked in.”

“I don't know how you can interpret it that way.”

“Or that we can just bail completely. If we think the scene is kind of bullshit. Like now. Notice I'm slowly backing off.”

“No, what are you doing?”

“Bailing.”

“You can't do th...”

“Bailing!”

“I can't believe he did that. Great, now I have to talk to the pigs alone.”

What A Nightmare

“I... I'm cold. Why is it so cold?”

“Uhhhh... No. No! I'm not doing this.”

“I can't see you. Everything is dark.”

“No, I refuse to do this. Not even going to look. I'm just swimming into this corner. Not participating.”

“Help...”

“Jesus christ, you sick fucks! Do you hear me? I'm not going to be a part of this!”

“Hey! Hey. It's just a body suit. Come back. Look, a costume. I'm okay.”

“Is that supposed to be funny?! Where is the humor in this situation, huh?! Holy shit, what a nightmare.”

“Well, now that you mention it, there isn't much to work with. I guess we could just poop.”

“Poop?”

“Yeah, poop. Pooping is funny. You poop, then I poop.”

“You're going to poop?”

“Ghost poop.”

“I guess that's funny.”

“You take a big dump, a big cloud of poop, then I'll take a big poop, and we'll swim around and gasp and have big X's over our eyes and float away.”

“All right. I mean, if it means we can wrap this up. Listen, sorry I lost it back there, I...”

“POOP NOW!”